on his deathbed, I stare from afar and wept.
sometimes when death knocks on the door of someone we love, we swiftly answer it and shoo it away. but what if you’re the one who patiently waits for the death to bang on the door and destroys it eventually to take your loved one from you?
no matter how messed up the path which your loved one chose, no matter how bad it looks, are you willing to give up for your peace of mind’s sake? will you able to swallow your food properly thinking that you let go of a soul just because you are not satisfied with the kind of life he may have chosen to live?
yet on the deathbed, he struggles and tries to grasp for air; yet on the deathbed he grips your hand and tears fall down his scarred cheeks as you say the words “I love you”; yet on the deathbed his beloved child cries and demands a march on his graduation; yet you say farewell and goodbye all at the same time, without even realizing that he still wanted to live.
now that he’s becoming strong in the ICU, now that he heard all your falsified wishes and sugar-coated love, now that he knows how bad you wish for his death, where will you run and hide? where will you sleep comfortably? what will you do when he wakes up? what will you say when he opens his eyes? how will you answer when he speaks and asks you some if not many or one question? or will you even be there at his side when he’s strong enough to eat and sit?
I may not be familiar to the world he lives in, I may not know how hurt he may feel since you said goodbye on his bed where he wished to be cured, but what I am sure of is that…he wanted to live and make the people who did this to him pay, yet you, his own beloved blood relative made no move to protect him and did not even investigate it. how sad this pained soul could be right now…